If you are feeling coerced or pressured into casual sex, then this is probably not in your best interest. While many people think of casual sex as the “perfect” free, casual, carefree way of dating — if it isn’t that, it is too casual for your liking. And if you are having sex because you think you are obligated to do so or what your partners want from you, then consider yourself not in control of your sexuality.
And if you find yourself in a situation where the sexual act is involuntary, consider the person with whom you’re having it — perhaps they do not truly consent to your actions and you would be playing with fire if they did. The best way to avoid being a sex-object in this case is to opt to reject having sex with others entirely (this is called “unattached sexuality”).
Realizing that casual sex is not always good for you goes beyond the sexual realm. It is important to recognize that casual sex, if it is part of a relationship, isn’t always healthy, either. You may feel guilty because you think you’re selfish or a dick for what you did, but that is not the reality. You are not being selfish if you got lucky and sleep with someone who won’t even consider someone who got out of your way.
Adopting that mentality towards casual sex may, on the other hand, cause you to lose friendships and lead you to seeking casual sex with people who are high on the status and power spectrum. Meeting these people at all costs may not be the best of decisions.
Many people believe that casual sex is the only way to have sex outside the typical, committed relationship. Perhaps you’ve heard the saying “No strings attached” on the bedroom tip: If you are going to be with someone, you shouldn’t expect sex for the next 30 years (depending on the exact variation and spelling of this phrase).
But, this is not to say that casual sex is always the wrong choice for you. Instead, you may find yourself settling for whatever free labor you can get out of friends. Sometimes, the cost of giving yourself away is a bit of reputation as being the “dirty little secret” among friends and acquaintances.
People do many things for casual sex because they find it fulfilling, not because it’s the only way to go. When casual sex is approached the right way, it can be the only way
Believe it or not, there are actually good reasons for not indulging in hookups and casual sex. In fact, there are a handful of scientifically backed health benefits to casual sex, both sexually and non-sexually.
1. Hookup culture is changing, so if you’re craving intimacy
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It’s been a long time coming, but finally, there’s a serious challenge to Tinder and Bumble’s hookup culture dominance: Match Group, the parent company of Tinder, Bumble, and other dating platforms, launched a new standalone app last week called Glance. After first coming under fire for their hookup culture, including charging women to swipe right on potential dates, Match is trying to reinvent themselves as a “modern connection platform.” If you thought that sounded weird, just know that they’ve been responding to feedback from users and the media for awhile, hence the update.
‘She gave up the right to complain’
If you’re not sure who you want to be your next lover, apps like Glance give you the space to write your own rules — but in a more carefully curated manner than the vague restrictions of a Tinder match.
“We’ve talked about building out more sophisticated options on the social side, that’s something that’s coming in the future,” they wrote.
But the big change on Glance is that every single user — male and female — is matched with men and women based on mutual interests and location. That’s right: Match Group has created another Tinder-like app, but where you won’t find pixies. With just 11 million total users on the app (as of its October launch), Glance is designed to fill the void of forgotten Tinder and Bumble users.
But, it’s not only about meeting people who actually want to date you. Glance also lets you tap into communities in your city, where you can find individuals who share your hobbies and interests. You can message potential matches privately from within the app, too.
While some users aren’t looking for a serious relationship, they may be looking for casual intimacy. If this sounds similar to a hookup, don’t worry — you can easily opt out of receiving messages from people who you do not want to approach. But sometimes, simply indulging in the casual banter of a conversation on the app is worth your time (and theirs